Dainty Cate

This has been a surprisingly rough year, and it is barely March. Those that I love, those that I care for, those that are part of my life in a more common way– I see them struggle this year. I wonder if I am just now becoming more aware of a struggle that has always been. Lately, the crisis is much more external and impossible to ignore.
A friend who was cruelly assaulted, a student who was diagnosed with a deadly disease due to a blood transfusion weeks after accepting in her heart a call to the religious life, a step-father in law who has lost his mother, a grandfather in law struggling with cancer, another student who has been recalled to Afghanistan although he has already served all of his tours of duty. It is incredible the amount of suffering. I feel as though I am failing them. Hours seem to slip away in my days, few being dedicated to the thought of those who are hurting. I have struggled myself in recent weeks. Faltered on my path, stumbled, and been brought low. Yet, I want to turn from this. To focus on those in my life that I feel are so in need of a little grace. I want to give more of myself to them.
I want to find the beauty in my life and cling to what has been given to me, but accept the challenges in my path with the same willingness and love. I want to serve others before myself, even in my inner most thoughts and quiet moments.
I doubt myself deeply, but I try to overcome that by refusing to doubt Him who strengthens me.

In her quest to add ever larger and more useful words to her vocabulary, Li’l E will pounce on any new turn of phrase presented to her. This morning, functioning in the sonambulatory state in which I begin every morning, I staggered into Li’l E’s room to find her some clothing for the day. She was in the hall, playing with B and as her daddy walked in from our room she immediately perked up.

“Daddy! I’m going to get a kitty cat!” she trilled.

A long pause from the loving father. “…Really? Says who?”

Not receiving the enthusiasm she had hoped for, she turned to me. “Mommy, what do you think I should name my kitty?”

The supportive father mutters from the door way, “Um. Invisible?”

Li’l E enthusiastically, if incorrectly, jumps on the proposal. “Mommy!! How ’bout VISIBLE!!”

I chuckle as I look towards the doorway, “That’s a great name!”

“Yes, that’s my kitty’s name: Princess Visible.”

Let’s see the preschool teachers decipher that one today!

My daughter is now caught somewhere between having an enormous vocabulary and trying to maintain the correct meaning to some of her words and ideas. As you might guess this leads to endlessly entertaining conversations at my house.
Lately, she has been finagling for a “kitty.” Her step-great-grandmother has an enormous Siamese which Li’l E carried around by the waist and upside down the last time we invaded their domain. The fact that the cat allowed this without slicing the girl to ribbons is shocking; the fact that the girl is now in LOVE with cats less so.
On the way home today, she announced, “Mommy, when I am done with my dog, I want a cat.” I explained to her that B was part of the family, you don’t “get done” with a pet, they are with you forever. “Well maybe not forever,” she said matter of factly. “When she sleeps a lot, then we will get a cat. My cat can have B’s kennel and we will buy the cat toys. And B can’t touch them, but sometimes she can sleep with my cat in the kennel.”
You can lie down, B, but don’t close your eyes…