Dainty Cate

I would say that I haven’t had time to write, but that probably isn’t true. I could have made the time. I used to write. I have kept journals since the second grade. Each progressively more dramatic and intricate. By college I was writing volumes, complete with theme-appropriate magazine cut outs. They were quite masterful. I haven’t even begun to match them since. Perhaps because I haven’t the time for such self-indulgence, such self-love. I wonder if teens and college students are so completely self-involved simply because they have the time to be so.
Now I have reached a point in my life where I need nothing so much as an outlet, and yet I now find myself with out words. I feel that the secret lies in words, but the words elude.

Sometimes I question my husband’s mental processes. Such as just a moment ago, when he said, “Um. When the colors and whites are clearly in different baskets, would you mind putting your laundry in the right one.” I’m not sure which absurdity struck me first: the fact that I CREATED SEPARATED BASKETS; the fact that I am the ONLY person who EVER does laundry, and therefore separation affects only me; or the fact that he chose to tell me this after a week of various emotional traumas including a student in my class (that I often work with one on one) being labeled a “person of interest” in an assault and rape case.
Really? Is now the time you want to discuss this?

I love him, but some times I just don’t understand him.

“Ah, sweet mystery of life at last I’ve found you!!!”

I awoke this morning to the news that President Obama was the latest Nobel Peace Prize recipient. I’m not even sure where to start with this! The Obama-love has jumped the shark completely! I feel uneasy about him now simply because I realize I am surrounded by not just a nation, but an entire WORLD of sycophants.

The Obama love fest has totally jumped the shark. Obama began his presidency much more as a rock star than a leader. Now this stardom has spread across the face of the Earth.

The Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded to people who have committed their lives to bring peace to the world. I’m not sure exactly how the Committee can justify their choice here. Especially when the deadline for nominations occurred when President Obama had only been in office for TEN days. Even if the man was the most peaceful and awe-inspiring person alive, I fail to see how any judgment could be made from the first 10 days of office.

Can we all stop taking the Soma for a moment and get some perspective? Medecins Sans Frontieres, International Campaign to Ban Landmines, Mother Theresa, Elie Weisel, the 14th Dalai Lama… Obama. “One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just doesn’t belong.”

I cannot imagine how the Committee justified this. I can only hope that Obama is so incredibly humbled by this undeserved award, that he experiences a deep conversion of heart, and is called to some kind of worthiness to be among such company in the future.

Hubs and I had an amazing conversation a few nights ago. It seems that the ones that are had in the dark of the night end up being the most profound and productive… at least in my world.
The gist of it was that he acknowledged how much of my life that I had put on hold, the sacrifice that I had made for our family, and agreed that it was now time for ME.
Which, in our lives, translates to graduate school. So, now I find myself buried in test prep books with GRE emblazoned across the front, and searching through graduate programs to discover what and where the best thing for me will be.
The givens: I love the population that I am working with now, college students with learning disabilities and emotional/neurological disorders. This is where I feel gifted. This is where I feel I can contribute. However, I am nervous to limit myself. I am considering a Master’s to PhD program in psychology, but also a MSSW. I am wondering if I should stick more to my B.A. major/minor and be a professor, or should I translate that minor into a MTh, which could also lead me to work with the population to which I feel drawn.
The fact that this opportunity which I have truly LUSTED after for such a long time has finally presented itself with a green light, is completely overwhelming. It may account for the fact that I’ve felt like I’ve contracted some rare form of African Sleeping Sickness this past week. The absolute enormity of the possibilities and the endless hoops that must be jumped and the overwhelming implications of failure have converged upon my psyche.
Regardless, this is not an opportunity that I will let escape, therefore the best thing to be done is simply focus on my form through one hoop at a time!
And on that note, I’m off to practice recalling math that I haven’t done since middle school!

Because everyone needs one.